I'm not proud of this, but lately I’ve been feeling really sorry for myself. Things changed up at work where I haven’t been entirely happy. I’ve had random technical issues and misunderstandings in conversation that have led to poor outcomes. Out of protection for myself, I started pointing the finger. I started allowing my circumstances to dictate my state of being, going through the motions by not emotionally investing in my work, and soaking in all the things I had to complain about.
Then I started asking myself questions that I ask you every single day. How might my energy be attracting this? How is my perspective affecting the way I’m seeing things? How am I responsible for the way things are going? I realized that I’m choosing to feel sorry for myself, I’m letting situations run my life instead of controlling the situations I have in front of me. And that’s when things started to flip. If I’m in control, what can I do about it? And most importantly, what do I want?
I decided that I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I don’t want to feel drained, unmotivated, and hopeless. I want to find ways to make the most of this opportunity and extract as much value as I can from it. Upon admitting to all of that, I was able to get more creative about how I relate with my work. I started seeing how I can develop in the ways I want to, and even more powerfully, I realized how great of an opportunity I actually had to accomplish those things.
I chose to shift my perspective. I gained an awareness around how I was thinking and feeling, wanted to make a change, and connected that change to my daily effort. Things aren’t great, but they’re getting better and I’m finding a lot more meaning in what I’m doing. It’s working for me, and if you’re feeling upset or disinterested in something, I encourage you to get real with yourself and figure out what you can do about it to make things better.
This one was more of a diary entry but I thank you for reading it anyway!