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May 16, 2023

Give And Forgive Not Get And Forget

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A thought from Nithya Shanti - “Give and forgive not get and forget”.

Clearly, there’s a strong and clever contrast painted in this. It makes you reflect on the difference between giving and getting, which we’ve thought more about, and then expand that into a more unique contrast between forgiving and forgetting.

First, to establish that foundation, the world operates through the transaction of giving and getting. You cannot give your money, expertise, contacts, energy, or anything in any capacity unless it in some way is being received somewhere else. 

Within this contrast, understand that ‘getting’ is not a bad thing itself. It’s very important actually because it allows someone else to give and also it allows us to get our needs met so that we have more to give. The encouragement is to focus on the priority, which is giving, because when you give you then grant yourself more permission to receive and facilitate the flow of value.

What’s interesting about this is most exchanges involve both parties giving and getting all at the same time. For example someone buying groceries: The grocer is giving food and getting money for it, while the customer is giving money and getting food. They’re inseparable.

Now this second piece, the contrast between forgiving and forgetting. When you forgive, there's a record of what happened. It is not being avoided, neglected, or lost. The facts remain the same but the perception of it has changed. You choose to accept what happened and tell a new story about it, one of forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, and understanding.

When you forget, what happened is gone. It means that you’re susceptible to it happening again because you didn’t process it, you simply deleted it. This allows the same old story and meaning to be tied to it, keeping you right where you are.

As you can tell, there’s a lot to think about in this concept - Give and forgive not get and forget. And I’d love for you to reflect on it and figure out for yourself why it’s true, or not!

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