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April 30, 2019

"Don't Cling To A Mistake Just Because You Spent A Long Time Making It"

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We have a tendency to hold on to decisions for way longer than we should. We might do it so that we maintain credibility, we don’t bruise our ego, or we are averse to the discomfort of making the change. let’s talk through it!

First, let’s understand the nature of it. A couple of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s pillars of influence is commitment and consistency, which is definitely at play here.  Essentially, we have a natural preference to make decisions that align with previous decisions, so that our brains don’t have to rationalize that we made a mistake or that something is wrong. Unfortunately, it’s a defense mechanism that is out of place.

Instead, think about your situation in the present.  Ask yourself the question, without going into the past, what is it that you want to do today?  Focusing on the present should give you extra clarity on the situation, and how you much want to move forward with it. For instance, if you’re in a long-term relationship that could end in a messy and complicated break up, that might be enough reason for you to try and suck it up and stay in it. However, looking objectively at the situation and making a decision in the present moment without fear, is really powerful.

In sum, not all of these decision are mistakes. You made the decision initially because you thought it was right.  The mistake might be how long you have tolerated a certain situation or decision that has impacted you negatively, and it’s important to be aware of that.

So, “don’’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it”. Move forward with what is best for your life, and take it all in stride.  

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