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August 14, 2020

Stay Out Of The Drama

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All drama does is it provides a platform for people to commiserate in an unproductive way. At the heart of drama are a few things that I believe have no place in our world - complaining, gossiping and deflecting responsibility. When you talk about drama it’s usually about what someone else did, or how something else happened. It’s expensive. Expensive from the standpoint that you are choosing to allocate your valuable attention toward something that isn’t productive.  

We get into this trap because it presents a stimulating conversation that activates our evolutionary tendency to take interest in social hierarchy, which is really appealing on the surface. But unfortunately it approaches the topic in a very scandalous way and rewards you with a fleeting boost in self-worth because you feel taller after someone else is pulled down. It’s scarce, it’s trivial, and it’s avoidable if you follow these two things.

First - Don’t cause drama. Think of yourself as a match that could ignite it all. By talking about others in a non-critical, non-judgmental way, you can bypass that tendency to gossip and speak on the matter in a more productive way.

And second - Don’t escalate it. Drama and gossip are only possible because it involves a mutual exchange between two people. If you are unwilling to receive the drama in the conversation, then the conversation will naturally steer away from the gossip. If you can approach the conversation from a place of resolution, without communicating agitation or frustration, then you will be able to redirect the negative energy away.

There’s already enough going on in your life, you don’t need anything petty to sap your energy, and drama is often the culprit.

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