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December 21, 2022

How To Feel More Accepted And Less Judged

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I believe we are in a crisis. A crisis where many people feel alone, unworthy, and incapable of doing anything about it. I want to really help add some perspective to this, but first I need to make a detour to provide some context.

As social creatures we often find ourselves in very complex social dynamics. Evolutionarily it was advantageous to constantly be comparing yourself to the group so that you can maintain your spot in the tribe and ultimately, increase your chances of survival. This is the role of the ego, to always be evaluating your position relative to others.

Well things have changed quite a bit since those early days and now we find that some of our instincts are out of place. This makes it harder to live self-assuredly because people are acting on their ego to make them feel better at the expense of others. Unfortunately, this might even affect you. You’ve seen this first-hand if you’ve been bullied, harassed, threatened, or experienced other forms of unfair treatment.

But here’s the hard truth to it. You’re human too. You have the same instincts that can negatively affect other people when they’re not controlled. I’m sure you can think of a time when you lost your temper or unfairly treated someone else. Nobody is immune to this and through your own self-work you are improving the way you relate with these impulses and urges (among other things).

Alright, so where am I getting with this? We’re only in control of what's happening in our own head. We receive what other people are doing around us and to us and we put out our own energy that then affects others. So in both cases, improving in this area involves you and only you.

So for someone who wants to feel less alone, more worthy, and more empowered… Who wants to be more accepted by others and less judged… You need to be better about accepting others and judging others less. You must tame your own ego and establish the standard for your own life because that will help you enforce what you’re willing to tolerate.

To transform the way other people treat you, you must transform yourself. Be more graceful with others and you’ll have more grace with yourself. Find the spark in someone else and it’ll help you find the spark within yourself. You’ll be amazed to see how quickly life changes when you change the eyes you are seeing everything through. As Wayne Dyer puts it, “change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

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