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June 30, 2023

Deep Love Blocks

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Ask just anyone the question “What’s the most important thing in your life?” and you’ll get pretty similar answers. In fact, ask yourself the question right now -  What is the most important thing in your life?

The resounding answer you’ll hear, that you might’ve even concluded for yourself, are the people in your life - Their well-being, their health and safety, and enjoying quality time with them. Having strong, meaningful relationships with friends and family members is one of the most enriching things in life. 

The longest survey ever conducted just confirmed this. Having studied many people over many years, they found that the single greatest contributor to a happy life is the quality of your social connections. This was a stronger indicator of holistic wellness than things like obesity, smoking, and alcoholism.

The reason I bring this up is because while many people really value their most coveted relationships, they aren’t very intentional about them. It's as though time with friends and family is one of the last things to be prioritized alongside life’s other responsibilities and commitments. Time with other people seems to be squeezed into our lives when convenient rather than built around like a pillar.

I’ve gotten more intentional with my relationships in the last few years, making sure I reach out to my Mom, Dad, grandma, and brother, and I’ve set up a weekly date-night with my fiancé Irene. But I want to take things to the next level, and I just heard a new idea about it that I’m going to start experimenting with.

Brian Johnson, founder and community leader of Heroic (a self improvement platform I’m a part of) introduced me to having “Deep Love Blocks”. Similar to Cal Newport’s “Deep Work Blocks” where you have the intention to create a distraction free work session, we can do the same with the time we spend with our most important people. 

That’s why it’s called ‘quality time’. And if we want to improve the quality of our interactions with people we need to be more present, less distracted, fully engaged, and multi-task less.

Creating “Deep Love Blocks” is easy - Assign a certain amount of time to be with someone and plan to be there. It could be as elaborate as having an activity planned or as simple as choosing not to scroll social media when you’re on the phone with someone. The important part is that you’re in the moment, and doing nothing else, so that you can give the time your best and receive theirs.

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