Perhaps the most powerful force that governs the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the results we get in our lives are our beliefs. Beliefs are the building blocks of identity and dictates how we show up in our lives.

Knowing this, something I’ve always struggled with is knowing what my beliefs are. We’re told on our growth journey to challenge our beliefs... But it’s impossible to do that if we’re not even aware of what our beliefs are in the first place.

Narrowing in from this much larger topic, let’s get a hands-on glimpse into what beliefs are by focusing on one type of them: Preferences.

Our preferences are simply what we prefer in our life. Or in different words, our preferences are an implicit understanding of what we like and what we don’t like.

When we think of our preferences they seem to be really superficial, like preferring vanilla to chocolate or sleeping in a cold room vs a warm room, which doesn’t seem to impact our lives that much...

But when we dive in a bit deeper you’ll see that your preferences are much more integrated in everything we do.

We have preferences for everything: The way we like to do things, the way we like to feel, the way we like to receive feedback, the way we like to make decisions… I could go on forever.

What’s underlying each of these preferences is it leans us toward a certain way of thinking and a certain way of acting. So what might seem like an arbitrary preference actually guides the direction of our lives.

Let me give a personal example that shows you just how far it ripples: I have a preference to feel productive with my time over not being productive.

This preference acts as an unconscious filter in everything I do. In many settings it is helpful to keep me on task, but in other settings it has consequences.

It leads to more disorganization because I don’t always invest the time in putting things away. It influences me to be less present in conversations when I’m running over time because I value being on schedule. And more fundamentally, it impacts my feelings of self-worth as I reflect on the quality of my day, potentially discrediting how good it was because I see all the things I didn’t get done.

This is happening constantly, unconsciously, and in everything we do. And this is just one example of how a preference influences everything else!

It’s harmless until it’s not because it steers your life completely off course.

Motivational speaker Inky Johnson shared an incredible quote that I wanted to expand on today. He says “Champions do daily what everyone else does occasionally.”

Regardless of if you aspire to be the very best at what you do or not, we have a lot to learn from champions.

They are the ones who achieve the highest level of excellence possible. They’re the ones who, though their performance, prove the exceptional ability they have cultivated over the course of years of preparation.

A champion wasn’t born that way, they earned it. And that’s what this quote gives insight into: How they did it.

“Champions do daily what everyone else does occasionally.”

Everyone has days where they show up. When they move the needle, improve, and make progress. But for most people these days only happen when they feel like it, when it’s convenient, when they’re full of motivation and connected to their reasons for doing it. In other words, they do it occasionally.

But on the days when they don’t feel like it, champions show up anyway.

They do not negotiate with what is required. They have a plan that they’re committed to and faith it’ll take them where they want to go. Just like anyone else they have convincing reasons why they should change course or take a break, but they do not let those reasons beat their commitment.

If you look at people at the highest levels of anything - Business, sports, self-respect - they all do the same thing in their own ways. They know the fundamentals and practice them religiously. 

So what’s our takeaway today as we use this example to inform our growth and development?

It’s a reminder of the power of consistency. If we want to excel in something, our path forward is to be disciplined and execute the fundamentals. And not just do it when we want to, but to show up every day regardless because daily incremental progress is what separates ‘good’ from ‘great’. 

In my years of studying high-performance I’ve found there are a few universal foundational elements that people must practice consistently to maximize their potential. It’s from this foundation that you can become great at whatever you desire.

Especially if lacking discipline has been holding you back from having the quality of health, career success, and relationships that you desire... I have identified 9 Super Habits that accelerate success behind the scenes, no matter what success looks like for you. 

If you’d like to learn what the Super Habits are and how to implement them consistently in just 15 minutes a day, this is for you!

As complicated as we try to make it sometimes, there’s a simple sequence of events that dictates what happens in our lives.

That sequence is: We make choices, that lead to actions, that produce results.

Now let’s walk through each step.

Choices are the bedrock of our sense of agency. Because we have personal freedom, it means that we have the opportunity to make choices in our lives. This is very empowering because at any given moment we can make a new choice that changes the trajectory of our life in big and small ways.

In fact, we are making choices in every moment of our life. But the majority of them are subconscious and driven by our unmet needs and belief system.

Then when you make a choice, it leads to a certain action. Another word for this is ‘behavior’. Both actions and behaviors are the external expression of the internal choice. It’s what causes your choices to actually impact the world within you and around you.

But not all actions are the same - Some are healthy, productive, and supportive of who we want to be, and some are not. Unconscious choices lead to unconscious actions, and conscious choices lead to conscious actions.

Which ultimately produce results. The actions we take interact with the world around us. We are incredibly powerful in that we underestimate the influence we have on the world and our world. Every action shifts the balance of things and in doing so, manifests in your life a certain outcome.

Now here’s the important part to understand. If we don’t like the results we’re getting right now, or want more of the good ones we’ve earned, we need to step our way backwards in the sequence.

That is only possible when we first clearly define the results we want (or don’t want)...

The from there, we can understand what actions we do or did not take to generate that certain result...

And gain insight into what underlying choices lead to each of those actions.

Now here’s one additional piece. In order to make high-quality choices more often, and steer ourselves away from the bias of our unconscious mind that keeps us in our comfort zone and reproduces the same results we’ve been getting…

We need to focus on cultivating more awareness.

When we raise the level of consciousness we live at, we become better aware of the choices we’re making, the actions we’re taking, and the outcomes that come as a result.

You’ll want to cultivate more awareness in your life, and supplement this foundational concept with other fundamentals that will accelerate your growth, I’ve put together some of the best episodes from the past that summarize the 7 Fundamentals to Self Improvement. Click here if you want to check those out!

Last week as part of a community session I led, I got to hear a beautiful story from one of my colleagues Henry.

As a member of the Rotary Club he does a lot of work in the community and shared about his experience with a special needs kickball match.

He then elaborated on how he supports a program that helps to refurbish old wheelchairs and ship them internationally so that people in need can have them. He said that it’s a dream come true for many of these people and gives them a freedom in their life that they never had.

It was a heartwarming moment, but then it got me reflecting on how differently I view a wheelchair. If someone were to provide me with a wheelchair, it would mean that I lost my ability to walk. It would mean that I was now confined to the limitations of what I could do in a wheelchair.

How interesting is it that the same reality of receiving a wheelchair could lead to so different outcomes...

For me it would appear to be a tragedy and for others it’s a blessing that helps them access a new quality of life.

This is the power of perspective.

Everything we perceive is just the meaning that we assign to a set of facts. We can control the narrative so that our life is filled with more positivity, hope, appreciation, and acceptance.

For example - Let’s say that I did go through something that took my ability to walk. I could feel sad, dejected, and like my life is over. Or I could choose to see the gratitude in my situation, where I have the resources many people don’t have to still live a full-life despite a disability.

This isn’t easy to do… But it is embedded in everything we do. Our reality is dictated by our perception, and this example of what being in a wheelchair means about the quality of someone’s life is a great example of it.

Whatever hardship, circumstances, or challenge you're facing or have faced, you can invite this perspective by asking these two questions:

#1 - What about this situation is really good compared to what it could be?

#2 - How could this be a great thing to have happened to me?

The quality of our life is highly-correlated by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves, so let’s ask better questions!

A character trait that people really respect in others is honesty. Being honest is about being consistent with your version of the truth. And to be honest requires us to accept the way things are even when it’s painful or takes courage.

We’d all benefit, and the world would be a better place, if we became more honest.

But being honest isn’t as straightforward as it might seem. While the ‘honest’ thing to do is more black and white, the way that we deliver it is more variable. Certain settings have certain considerations, and we can be more effective with our honesty when we’re aware of those things.

A quote that I believe can be best attributed to leadership coach Kathleen Seeley goes - “Be brutally honest with yourself and skillfully honest with others.”

The most impactful thing we can hear from ourselves is the direct, unbiased, unfiltered version of what’s going on. Our mind naturally tries to protect us from anything that’s psychologically challenging, so we add fluff to mute the blow. But it comes at the expense of us knowing what’s required of us to grow through the challenge. 

It doesn’t mean to be so blunt that you become self-deprecating... But to give yourself grace as you accept what is most honest, especially when it’s hardest to admit.

Now when we deal with others, the same approach can become problematic. There’s a lot more context that comes into play when honesty involves someone else. That’s why Kathleen says it needs to be skillfully done.

We don't negotiate what the honest thing is - that’s cultivating a lie - but what we do is present what’s honest in a way that’s more likely to be well-received by others.

The recipient must be open to hearing what you have to say if you want it to be effective. So navigating honesty more delicately, with different layers to it that unfold over time or in a series of ways, allows the message to be less confrontational and more collaborative. 

Here’s a personal example:

Before meeting and marrying my wife Irene, I dated a girl who is great person but our paths were incompatible. Had I been more brutally honest with myself earlier, I would’ve acknowledged the issue sooner and advanced in my life sooner than I did. There are many areas of our life where this would serve us, but in this case I wouldn’t change a thing because the timing of it all led me to being with Irene!

Now what if I had a friend who was in the same circumstance, and had a glaring incompatibility with their partner. It wouldn’t be right to bluntly tell them that they need to break it off ASAP. There’s more to it than that, so I could be honest about my opinion but communicate it in a more indirect way.

What’s more appropriate is to encourage them to think about their relationship more long-term and give voice to the incompatibility I see, so that they can process it themselves. 

That’s the nuance: Brutally honest with yourself, skillfully honest with others. Honesty is non-negotiable, but the way you go about it is more so.

This might sound overly simple but I promise it’s something that many of us are missing (including myself!)

Those things that we really enjoy doing, that infuse our lives with joy and fill up our cup - Why don’t we do those things more often?

We live in a culture that works really hard, and many of us try to be more productive and efficient so that we can create more free time. But it’s free time to do what? All of our favorite things!

When we do have free time there are other responsibilities and things that we choose to fill the time with. And in whatever it is we have left over, we don’t have the energy to go and do the things we love and would rather just rest.

But what is everything else for if not to support us in being able to do our favorite things?

So rather than seeing if we have the time and energy to do our favorite things after all is said and done, why don’t we just plan to do our favorite things from the very beginning?

The idea of productivity needs a rebrand.

It’s not about getting as many things done as you possibly can… Instead it’s to spend our time doing what we want to be doing as often as possible.

Central to this is doing our favorite things!

And making our favorite things a priority is as simple as planning it.

Going for a walk on the beach, or hitting some golf balls, or getting out to a dance class, or hosting a dinner with friends is really hard to pull off on the same day but really easy to pull off with just a week’s notice. 

Rather than it being something that you try to fit into a busy schedule, what if it was something that you built your schedule around?

I found out just how possible this was when I started Jiu Jitsu. Rather than feeling like I didn’t have time for hobbies, I made a decision about what days and times I was going to get in for training. With little consequence the rest of my responsibilities settled in around the commitment.

So for you - What is one of your favorite things to do that you haven’t done in too long? Make plans today to do it one week from now. You’ll realize just how possible it is to do your favorite things more often!

If you have an adventure buddy or someone that you have a lot of fun with, send them this article as a way to hold each other accountable to actually doing it!

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month I wanted to support those who are going through something challenging right now.

Whether that person is you or a loved one, this simple practice could be the first step toward a more hopeful and empowered future.

Gratitude is an incredible medicine. Not only does it have incredible short-term benefits to positively impact your physiology, but it offers remarkable long-term shifts as well.

Every time you bring to mind one thing you’re grateful for, your mind goes to work to answer the question.

As you process the request, you’re actually training your mind on how to think.

You’re teaching it that it’s important to be able to easily access things to be grateful for, which makes it a little more likely to proactively look for those things on its own.

When you do this consistently enough, you actually start to shift the unconscious pattern! You begin to see more things to be grateful for without having to tell yourself to.

This is why 30 days of gratitude journaling will change your life.

The conscious choice of gratitude journaling causes you to seek gratitude. The more you do it on purpose, the more your unconscious mind uses gratitude as a filter for everything it perceives without effort.

So for those who are having mental health challenges right now, this is something very simple to try: Ask the question “What could I be grateful for right now?”

The question is structured this way for a few important reasons:

First, it approaches gratitude as a brainstorm. So rather than trying to replace negative thoughts and discredit them altogether, it makes a soft suggestion to explore it.

Second, it asks about ‘today’. It directs your mind to find something amidst the sadness, depression, or challenges of right now to be grateful for. It proves to you that you can be grateful even though you feel a certain way, which supports the unconscious development.

Ask this question once a day, consistently for 30 days, and see how it goes. Doable right? I think you’ll be surprised to see how powerful it is!

In today’s world it’s nearly impossible not to offend someone. People have their own views on things and unfortunately we’ve gotten progressively worse at learning to listen to each other, not better. 

As social creatures who desire to be liked by others, more than ever we face the choice to speak up and risk creating confrontation and disagreement… Or not.

A famous quote by Aristotle that relates to this is “To avoid criticism - Say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.”

The quote is meant to be sarcastic.

Of course Aristotle’s recommendation isn’t to shy away into a meaningless existence - The intention is to highlight how inevitable criticism is when you take a stand for anything.

Rather than say nothing, speak up because no matter what you say it will create conflict. So you might as well speak what’s true to you.

Rather than do nothing, pursue whatever is most meaningful to you. If people disagree it’s their problem, and if you fail then at least you had the courage to try.

Rather than be nothing - Contribute. Let your presence be known in the way that you impact people. 

While ‘Saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing’ does divert attention and make it less likely that you’ll receive criticism, it also guarantees that you won’t be living your fullest life. 

As humans we are all designed to be creators. The language of our spirit is self-expression. And if you deny yourself of that, you’ll find yourself living a comfortable but passionless life.

We’ve got big plans and moves to make! That’s unacceptable. 

So say what’s on your heart that is honest, fair and appropriate. Do the things that light your soul on fire, or at least don’t shy away from trying. And commit to being someone who is extraordinary because that’s what the world needs right now.

You have greatness inside of you! Don’t let the opinion of a few keep you from sharing everything you have to offer with the rest.